Controlling the Urge

Now that I've had to alter my training strategy, I've found that I have to change my way of thinking as well. Last night I fast-walked two miles just to see how long it would take me. I thought I could walk faster than I did - 4 miles per hour - but even at that, Romie couldn't keep up with me.

The hard part wasn't the way I pushed myself to go faster, but that I had to stop myself from breaking into a run. I guess someone telling you that you can't do something just makes you want to do it all the more. I just wanted to go FASTER! Running would have felt good.

This evening, Romie and I set out on our bikes and rode eight miles. At times, we were moving along at a good pace of 14 mph, but then we turned a corner and the wind was in our faces at a good clip and we dropped back to 2.5 mph! It was a good workout though and my legs were feeling it for awhile afterward.

I've received some encouraging e-mails and messages from fellow runners and friends. I appreciate that and they further bolster my resolve to do this, come hell or high water.

"I am so sorry to hear about your eye problem. I have lived vicariously through your blogs... You were always my inspiration to keep going, because reading your blog was much the same way I felt when you were suffering, but when you had your triumphs, it was wonderful, and it made me feel like I had to keep going. Just know that I am proud of you, and keep us posted on your progress."

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"I have to admit that your blog made me think--a lot--about how I really shouldn't complain and that I should be much more motivated and that I should surround my brain with happy thoughts rather than critical thoughts.

I cannot even imagine walking 13.1 miles, Kylee. I admire your tenacity and your positive attitude and your determination. You are a far better person than I. I admire your spirit. I shall include you and your vision in my prayers."

Those are just a couple that I received, and really, how can I help but have a little more spring to my step after reading things like that? These are just proof how encouragement and communication between runners and those who support them can help. People who don't run can't imagine even thinking of doing what we're doing, but only when you've trained for it do you really understand what a big undertaking it is, and messages like these mean a LOT.

I'm so grateful for the opportunity that this has been for me. I've learned much about myself and my body and my health. I have already done things that I never dreamed I would do. I could never have imagined these words would ever have come out of my mouth:

"I think I'll just run three miles tonight."

*giggle*